There are a number of times when our mind clings to something tightly, and it is rarely helpful:
- I am right, the other person is wrong.
- That person is living their life in the wrong way, they should change.
- My preference is the best way, others are wrong.
- This is the thing I want, I don’t want anything else.
- I really don’t like that, it sucks.
- I should have that person in my life, loving me.
- I shouldn’t be alone, shouldn’t be overweight, shouldn’t be however I am, shouldn’t have this life.
In all of these cases, and more, our minds are fixed in a certain viewpoint, and we often judge others. We complain. We are attached to what we want and what we don’t want.
It leads to stress. Unhappiness. Anger. Righteousness. Being judgmental. Distancing ourselves from others. Closed-offedness.
Excellent points on how to deal with these situations on this article by Leo Babauta.